The Human Intimacy Podcast

Discover How Developmental Trauma Hinders Adult Attachment and What You Can Do to Overcome It (Episode 14) -Special guest Jon Taylor

Discover How Developmental Trauma Hinders Adult Attachment
It's a universal experience to grapple with identity formation in childhood, especially when parents exert significant control over our lives. This podcast, featuring guest Jon Taylor, offers a wealth of expert knowledge on developmental trauma. Gain valuable insights into how early life experiences can shape relationship dynamics as we mature.
As we strive to create healthy, intimate adult relationships, we need to make sure that we address barriers such as developmental trauma. In this week's podcast, we explore how to address developmental trauma by creating boundaries in relationships with parents or other family members. Learn how to address these challenging issues to create intimate relationships now. 
One Form of Developmental Trauma
Developmental trauma can occur when a child grows up in an environment where their parents or caregivers exhibit behaviors of ownership towards them. This sense of ownership can manifest in controlling, possessive, and manipulative behaviors that can have a lasting impact on the child's emotional and psychological development.
Additional Topics Discussed: Mother Enmeshed Men
Growing up in an enmeshed relationship with a mother can have several impacts on a man's development. Firstly, these men may struggle with autonomy and forming healthy boundaries in relationships. They may have difficulty asserting their own needs and desires, often prioritizing their mother's wishes over their own.
Additionally, mother-enmeshed men may have challenges forming and maintaining healthy intimate relationships. Their dependence on their mothers for emotional support and validation can interfere with their ability to connect with a partner on a deeper level.
Resources Discussed:
Book:
Mother Enmeshed Man
Workshop:
Overcoming Enmeshment
Special Thanks to McKay Hatch for sharing his musical talents with us. Click here to listen to McKay discuss how to live life through adversity.

Play Your Way to More Intimate Relationships (Episode #13)

Play Your Way to a More Intimate Relationship (Episode #13)
Have we forgotten how to play? As we get older, we tend to forget to have genuine fun. In this episode. Dr. Kevin Skinner and Amy Andrus encourage you to pull out games and learn to play again.
When we tease, flirt, and engage in friendly banter in our relationships, we create memories that can last a lifetime. If you are looking for a few ideas on strengthening intimacy in your relationship through play, join us for this fun episode. 
Playful Tips You Can Try
Feeling inspired to inject some playfulness into your relationships? Here are a few suggestions on how to do just that:
Have a Game Night: Dust off the old board games or cozy up for a night of video gaming.
Take a Class Together: Whether it’s cooking, painting, or dancing, learning something new can be both educational and fun.
Prank Each Other: Keep things light by playing a practical joke once in a while (and be sure to keep it lighthearted!).
Enjoy Childish Delights: Visit an amusement park, spend an evening stargazing, or have a picnic in the living room. Remember, it's all about the experience.
Play Sports or Exercise Together: A bit of healthy competition can be great for both your physical and relational health.
Cater to Each Other’s Whims: Indulge in each other’s spontaneous, fun ideas.
Try Role-Playing: A risqué endeavor, perhaps, but role-playing can introduce new, fun elements into your relationship.
Bring Out Your Inner Child: Engage in activities you loved as kids, from finger painting to building forts.
Get Crafty for Each Other: Make personal gifts or cards, or work together on a DIY project.
Create Inside Jokes: Inside jokes are tiny tempos of happiness that can be shared anytime, anywhere.
Resources Discussed in This Show
Dating on Purpose (Book)
A special thanks to McKay Hatch for the intro music. If you haven’t listened to the episode with McKay, his story is truly inspiring. Here’s a link to that show: Living Life Through Adversity

Healing Attachment Wounds Triggered by Sexual Behaviors: Insights from Dr. Sue Johnson (Episode #12)

Healing Attachment Trauma Caused by Sexual Behaviors:
Insights from Dr. Skinner’s Discuss with Dr. Sue Johnson
In 2016, I had the privilege of interviewing renowned relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson. In this special interview, Dr. Johnson discussed how pornography and other sexual behaviors alter our attachment bonds. 
The content of this interview is timeless, as the principles discussed will never cease to enlighten our understanding of healthy human relationships. This interview is especially poignant today, as we remember the profound impact Dr. Sue Johnson had on therapy. Her passing on April 23rd, 2024, marked the end of an era, but her brilliant mind and insight into the attachment model will continue to guide us for generations to come.  
Dr. Johnson graciously gave her time for this podcast because she believed in helping individuals and couples heal from problems created by pornography use and other unwanted sexual behaviors. 
Resources Discussed:
Bloom for Women
Human Intimacy

Create Boundaries Based on Your Values: How You can Improve Self and Strengthen Your Relationships (Episode #11)

If you are struggling with boundaries in your life, this podcast will empower you to create healthy boundaries that strengthen your relationships. Simply said, boundaries matter. While every healthy relationship has boundaries, in relationships where we struggle, we usually find boundary violations. In this podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the challenges of creating healthy boundaries and they share how to use your personal value system as a guide to create boundaries that meet your needs and enhance your relationships. Learn to improve your personal life and your relationships by applying the critical concepts discussed in this podcast.

The Art of Self-Disclosure: Allowing Ourselves to be Seen (Episode #10)

If you are looking to improve your relationship skills, this episode features Dr. Kevin Skinner and Amy Andrus discussing how to create better relationships through appropriate self-disclosure.In this episode, “The Art of Self-Disclosure,” you will learn the research-based benefits of learning to open up and allow others to see into you. Self-disclosure in close relationships can create a foundation of trust, empathy, and emotional connection that sustains and enriches the bond between you and the people you care about. Learn how to put these skills into action in your relationships. A special thanks to McKay Hatch for sharing his music in each episode. If you haven’t heard McKay’s “Quench My Heart,” here’s a link to listen to this fun and entertaining song. 
https://youtu.be/BPmF47qHYbg?si=yWRL3H47q2f6HHZt

How Unresolved Shame Prevents Intimacy in Relationships (Episode #9)

Unresolved shame simply ruins our chance of creating deep connections in our relationships. Have you ever felt parental shame? Do you have voices running around in your head that make you feel like you are not enough?
In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Amy Andrus discuss how shame prevents us from creating intimacy in our relationships. They conclude with a discussion on how we all can address the shame we feel inside. If you want to achieve deep and lasting relationships, make sure that shame is not holding you back.
 

Overcome Five Barriers to Intimacy and Connection — with Co-host Amy Andrus (Episode #8)

Overcome 5 Barriers to Intimacy and Connection
Have you ever asked yourself what keeps you from creating the type of relationship you long for? If so, in this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Amy Andrus discuss five of the most common barriers we have to overcome to achieve the type of intimacy we desire. 
Due to these barriers, we live far below our relationship potential. The five barriers include:
Unresolved issues from our past
Fear of intimacy
Shame
Pleasure seeking
Lack of relationship skills.
During the show, Dr. Skinner asked you to consider this question: "On a scale between 0 (ineffective) and 10 (very effective), how effective were your partners at teaching you how to have healthy relationships? This is a question that Dr. Skinner has asked audiences throughout the world. You may be surprised at the audience's answers to this critical question.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Test Your Relationship — A  guide for couples wanting to improve their relationship. Begin your journey by taking the test. Then review your personalized results. Next implement the suggestions and watch the videos to improve your relationship and increase your connection.
If you haven’t checked out McKay Hatch’s music, I encourage you to do so. You can find his music at the following links:
https://youtu.be/BPmF47qHYbg?si=yWRL3H47q2f6HHZt
https://youtu.be/bBeRLjI1nt0?si=-N0UbN-h97Sj9wvT
https://youtu.be/qHhQoebmizE?si=oaL2QG_E3wCL2I7t

The State of Human Intimacy in a Culture Filled with Fear (Episode #7)

The State of Human Intimacy in a Culture Filled with Fear
We live in a society filled with trust issues. This is especially true when so many relationships fail due to betrayal, addiction, and anger. The end result is that far too many people are in relationships but feel lonelier than ever. In this podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner discusses how our society can overcome our fears of intimacy and offers three things we can do to improve our relationship skills.
Suggested Resources:
Test Your Relationship — An online course for couples wanting to learn how to improve their relationship. When you Test Your Relationship, you will be given an 85 page report that will pinpoint the areas in which you can improve your relationship. Begin by identifying the barriers to intimacy and then learn how to overcome the issues that are hurting your relationship. 
 

Dating After Divorce with New Co-Host Amy Andrus (Episode #6)

Dating After Divorce: Are You Ready to Date?
Did you know that 52% of women and 64% of men remarry after a divorce? So, if you are divorced, are you ready to date? Maybe a better question is, how can you tell if you are prepared to move forward in a new relationship? In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and his new co-host, Amy Andrus, discuss the importance of preparing yourself to date after divorce. They also discuss their new online course, Dating After Divorce.
Recommend Resources:
Dating After Divorce - Online course designed to help you succeed in your next relationship.
Rebuild Your Life After Divorce - Online course with a support group.
The Essentials to Healing After Divorce - Online course to help you address unresolved issues from your past relationship. This course includes the Post-Divorce Adjustment Inventory.
Learn more at HumanIntimacy.com
 

On the Brink of Divorce - Special Guest Dr. Dave Robinson (Episode #5)

The Relationship Dilemma —Is Your Relationship on the Brink?
Far too many couples on the brink of divorce struggle in their decision. Should I leave? Should I stay? Can we work it out? Can we be happy again? In Episode #5 of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr.'s Kevin Skinner and Dave Robinson discuss ideas to help you make an informed decision. Together, these relationship experts have nearly 60 years of clinical experience. Join them as they discuss ideas and strategies you can use to make this crucial decision. 
Resources Discussed:
The Relationship Dilemma — Online Course designed to help couples make the best decision regarding their relationship.
Test Your Relationship (TYR)— An online course and assessment that helps couples pinpoint areas in their relationship that need to be improved. If you struggle connecting in your relationship, but don’t know how to change the unhealthy patterns TYR is for you.
Make sure to join Dr. Skinner and his guests each Wednesday at they discuss all things related to human intimacy.