The Human Intimacy Podcast

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

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Episodes

6 hours ago

Gaslighting, Lies, and Healing:
The Path to Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal
In this powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner is joined by Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer, a nationally recognized expert on betrayal trauma and author of “Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal.” Together, they dive deep into the topic of gaslighting—what it is, how it impacts betrayed partners, and why it is often more devastating than the betrayal itself. They discuss the psychological and emotional toll of deception, blame-shifting, and minimization, and how these behaviors contribute to trauma.  
Dr. Keffer shares personal experiences, research insights, and clinical expertise, highlighting how gaslighting leads to deeper levels of trauma and self-doubt. They explore the critical role of truth-telling in healing, the necessity of accountability, and how betrayed partners can begin to trust themselves again.  
The episode also touches on the role of therapy, common mistakes made in the healing process, and the dangers of “social gaslighting”, where the betrayer manipulates others into doubting the betrayed partner’s experience. Finally, Dr. Keffer shares details about her “Brave One Community”, an online support network for betrayed partners, and announces her upcoming presentation at the Human Intimacy Conference in March 2025.  
Resources Discussed:  
1. Dr. Sheri Keffer’s Book – Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal     - Explores the impact of deception and betrayal on partners, offering tools for healing.  
2. Dr. Kevin Skinner’s Book – Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal   - Features a chapter on Gaslighting No More, helping couples navigate truth and trust-building.  
3. The Gaslighting Scale     - A research-based tool developed to measure the impact of gaslighting on betrayed partners.  
4. The Brave One Community    - An online support group for women healing from sexual betrayal.     - Special offer: One-month free membership at (https://braveone.com/intimacy)  
5. ERCEM Model (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model)   - A structured approach to helping couples rebuild emotional connection after betrayal.  
6. Therapeutic Full Disclosure & Polygraph Process     - A structured process designed to establish truth and rebuild trust in relationships after betrayal.  
7. The Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025)     - Featuring over 20 experts and 400+ years of combined clinical experience.     - Limited-time offer: 50% off registration with code 50OFF.  
This episode is a must-listen for anyone recovering from betrayal or seeking to understand the deep psychological effects of gaslighting.

Wednesday Feb 12, 2025

The Power of Attachment in Healing Relationships
with Geoff Steurer
 
In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his longtime friend and colleague, Geoff Steurer, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in relational healing. Together, they dive into the crucial role of attachment in relationships, especially in the aftermath of betrayal and addiction.  
The conversation explores how attachment bonds shape our experiences of intimacy, trust, and security. Geoff and Kevin discuss common attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they influence relationship dynamics. They address the unique challenges couples face when navigating the tension between wanting to stay together and the pain of betrayal.  
Listeners will gain insights into:  
- Why attachment is not a choice but a fundamental human experience.  - How attachment wounds impact relationships after infidelity and betrayal.  - Practical strategies for healing and strengthening bonds.  - The role of reassurance, validation, and vulnerability in rebuilding trust.  - Overcoming common obstacles like sexual desire discrepancies and emotional disconnect.  
As a preview of the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference on March 14-15, 2025, Geoff shares how his session will provide a deeper dive into attachment wounds and betrayal trauma.  
If you’ve ever struggled with trust, emotional safety, or relationship recovery, this episode provides practical tools and compassionate guidance for navigating relational challenges with greater awareness and intention.  
Resources Mentioned: 1. Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025)
– Featuring leading experts, including Geoff Steurer, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Michelle Mays, and Dr. Kevin Skinner.     - Learn more: [HumannIntimacy Conference 2025 Use Coupon Code 50off
2. Books & Research:     - Hold Me Tight– Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Science)     - Attached – Dr. Amir Levine & Rachel Heller (Understanding Attachment Styles)     - The Power of Attachment — Dr. Diane Poole Heller     - Love 2.0 – Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (The Science of Creating Love)  
3. Therapeutic Approaches Discussed:   - Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)     - Polyvagal Theory – Dr. Stephen Porges     - The Impact of Early Attachment Experiences on Adult Relationships  
4. Geoff Steurer’s Work & Resources:     -Website: GeoffSteurer.com  
Join us in this enlightening conversation to better understand attachment and how it shapes the way we love, connect, and heal in relationships.

Wednesday Feb 05, 2025

Breaking Free:
How to Get Unstuck from Trauma and Reclaim Your Life
 In this milestone 52nd episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss one of the most challenging aspects of healing—getting stuck in trauma. Many individuals feel trapped in past experiences, unable to move forward despite years of therapy or self-help efforts. Trauma is not logical; it bypasses rational thought and gets stored in the body, often resurfacing in fight, flight, or freeze responses.  
This episode delves into the neuroscience behind trauma, explaining implicit vs. explicit memories, generational trauma, and learned helplessness. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore why people remain stuck and share proven strategies for processing and releasing trauma through evidence-based therapies. They emphasize the importance of body-based approaches, neuroplasticity, and the hope that real healing is possible.  
Listeners will also hear about the Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025), featuring leading experts in the field. As a special thank-you, podcast listeners can receive 50% off registration (expires Feb 8) and a free 100-day healing course upon signing up.  Coupon Code: 50off
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:  
Therapeutic Modalities for Trauma Healing:  
1. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – Uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain process and integrate traumatic memories.  2. ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) – Uses visualization and rapid eye movement to help rewrite trauma narratives.  3. Brainspotting – Identifies and processes trauma by focusing on where distress is stored in the brain.  4. Somatic Experiencing (Dr. Peter Levine) – Focuses on releasing trauma stored in the body through physical awareness.  5. Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges) – Helps regulate the nervous system and restore safety in the body.  6. Trauma-Informed Yoga – Uses movement and breathwork to help the body release trauma.  
Books and Experts Referenced:  - The Body Keeps the Score – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk  - Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma – Dr. Peter Levine  - The Developing Mind – Dr. Dan Siegel  - Facing Codependency – Pia Mellody  - The Circuit of Hope – Dr. Martin Seligman  - The Choice – Dr. Edith Eger  
Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025):  - Coupon Code: 50off —50% discount available for podcast listeners (expires Feb 8).  - Featured Experts: Dr. Kevin Skinner, Michelle Mays, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Dr. David Robinson, Geoff Steurer, and more.  - Bonus: Register and receive a $100 gift toward Dr. Skinner’s 100-Day Healing Course.  - Special Sessions: Pre- and post-conference Evening With the Experts, covering topics like rebuilding trust and getting unstuck.  
Final Message:  
If you feel stuck in trauma or emotional patterns that seem impossible to break, know that healing is possible. The brain can change, and you are not alone in this journey. Seek support, explore body-based healing modalities, and, most importantly, give yourself compassion.  
📍 Register for the Human Intimacy Conference: Click Here!  

Wednesday Jan 29, 2025

Reclaiming Self-Worth:
A Journey Back to Who You Truly Are
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In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the important topic of self-worth. Distinguishing it from self-esteem, they explore the enduring, inherent value each person holds regardless of external achievements, failures, or relationships. The conversation unpacks how life experiences and traumas, including sexual betrayal, shape our perceptions of self-worth and the conclusions we draw about ourselves. Through personal stories, professional insights, and actionable steps, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn guide listeners on a journey to reclaim their intrinsic value. They emphasize that our worth is immutable, present from birth, and encourage self-compassion, reflection, and connection as pathways to healing and growth.  
The episode also introduces five key steps to reclaiming self-worth, practical exercises for self-reflection, and the role of safe relationships in challenging and reshaping limiting beliefs. It concludes with an invitation to the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference, a two-day event offering expert guidance and resources for healing from betrayal and fostering deeper connection in relationships.  
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Key Resources Mentioned:  
1. Kristin Neff's Work on Self-Compassion: Insights on the differentiation between self-esteem and self-worth.  2. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker: Exploration of belief systems and their impact on self-perception.  3. Parts Work Therapy: A therapeutic approach to understanding internal dynamics and challenging limiting beliefs.  4. Human Intimacy Conference (March 14–15, 2025): A two-day event featuring leading experts in relationships, sex addiction, and betrayal trauma, with over 400 years of collective experience.  
Coupon Code:
Podcast50 (Individual Registration) + Access to Dr. Skinner’s 100 Day Course
Podcast100 (Couple Registration) + Access to Dr. Skinner’s 100 Day Courses for acting out and betrayed partner
5. Dr. Skinner's 100-Day Courses:     - For betrayed partners.     - For those overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors.  
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Action Steps for Listeners:  - Reflect on the life experiences that have shaped your self-worth using the five-step framework shared in the episode.  - Identify supportive individuals or communities who can offer clarity and encouragement in your healing journey.  - Consider attending the Human Intimacy Conference for further resources and expert guidance. Access includes Dr. Skinner's comprehensive 100-day courses on healing and recovery.  
This episode serves as both a practical guide and a heartfelt reminder of the unshakable worth within each of us.  

Wednesday Jan 22, 2025

Navigating Triggers in Public Spaces:
Building Trust and Connection After Betrayal
 
In this the 50th episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the challenges couples face when navigating public spaces after betrayal. They explore how hypervigilance, triggers, and the history of betrayal influence interactions in environments like malls or restaurants. The discussion highlights practical strategies to help individuals and couples create "prepared plans" for these crucial moments, allowing them to build trust and connection instead of succumbing to defensiveness or disconnection.
Key topics include:  
- Recognizing triggers and fostering self-awareness.  - The importance of empathy and validation in rebuilding trust.  - Strategies for humanizing others and breaking free from objectification.  - Tools for accountability and recovery when old patterns resurface.  - The value of proper preparation to prevent conflict and foster connection.  
This episode provides actionable insights for couples and individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of recovery and strengthen their relationships in the aftermath of betrayal.
Resources Discussed 
1. First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14–15, 2025)     - Featuring experts like Dr. Sherri Keffer, Michelle Mays, and Dr. Dave Robinson.     - Sessions on betrayal recovery, trust rebuilding, and post-divorce healing.     - Discounted registration: $50 off for individuals and $100 off for couples.     - [Register here]
Use Coupon codes:
Individual Code: Podcast50
Couples Code: Podcast100
2. Books & Authors Mentioned:     - The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays     - Dr. Kevin Skinner’s Rebuild Your Relationship after Sexual Betrayal  
3. Recovery Tools:     - Mindfulness techniques for addressing triggers.     - Accountability practices for navigating public spaces.     - Strategies for emotional regulation and creating connection.

Wednesday Jan 15, 2025

Self-Work and Overcoming Resistance:
Embracing the Change Process
 In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the concept of self-work, emphasizing its importance in personal growth and relationship improvement. They explore the challenges of resistance to change, offering practical strategies for self-reflection and breaking down the change process into manageable steps. The conversation underscores that self-work is an ongoing journey requiring courage, introspection, and accountability.
Key Points  1. Definition of Self-Work    - Self-work involves identifying areas for personal improvement and taking intentional steps to address them.     - It can focus on health, mental well-being, relationships, or professional growth.
2. Overcoming Resistance     - Resistance to change is natural due to habitual patterns.     - Recognizing and leaning into resistance is a critical step in the growth process.
3. Practical Exercise for Change     - Start with a five-minute self-reflection exercise to identify areas for improvement.     - Narrow the list to one priority and explore why it’s important.     - Develop a "how" plan to implement change with specific, actionable steps.
4. Building Accountability and Support    - Share your goals with trusted individuals for accountability.     - Visualize success to strengthen commitment and consistency.
5. The Role of Courage and Insight     - Change requires honesty and courage to face discomfort and step into the unknown.     - Insight gained through self-reflection provides clarity and direction.
6. The Power of Unlearning   - Self-work may involve unlearning patterns and beliefs inherited from family or culture.     - Addressing deep-seated habits can influence generational healing.
7. Daily and Lifelong Application     - Self-work can be applied daily to specific areas (e.g., relationships, work, health).     - Long-term, it fosters lasting transformation and improves overall quality of life.
8. The Human Intimacy Conference     - A reminder about the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference on March 14-15, 2025.     - The conference will provide tools and insights for couples and individuals navigating betrayal trauma, infidelity, and post-divorce challenges.

Wednesday Jan 08, 2025

In this powerful and deeply important episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the far-reaching influence of pornography on individuals, relationships, and society. The episode reveals shocking statistics about the average age of first exposure—11 years old—and explores the lasting psychological, emotional, and relational consequences for both children and adults. The conversation dives into critical issues, including the normalization of violence in mainstream pornography, the grooming of children, and the internalized shame that fuels secrecy and addiction.  
The hosts also address societal challenges such as the inadequacy of filtering systems, the need for stronger legislative action like age-verification laws, and the responsibility of parents and communities to educate and protect children. Through compelling stories and clinical insights, they illustrate the profound impact of pornography on mental health, self-perception, and relationships.  
The episode concludes with an inspiring message of hope and recovery. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize the transformative power of healing, self-awareness, and relational connection. They encourage listeners to take personal and collective action to safeguard future generations and support those seeking recovery and true intimacy.  
Resources Discussed:  
1. Statistics on Pornography Exposure:   - Average age of exposure: 11 years old.     - 22% of minors exposed to pornography are under the age of 10.     - 58% of minors accessing pornography are under the age of 14.     - 63% of minors reported accidental exposure in the past week.  
2. Books and Research:     - Treating Sexual Addiction: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery by Dr. Kevin Skinner.     - The Children of Pornhub by Nicholas Kristof, New York Times.  
3. Legislative and Advocacy Efforts:   - Age-verification laws in 19 states designed to protect minors from accessing pornography.     - Supreme Court case on January 15th to evaluate the constitutionality of Texas’ age-verification law.  
4. Recommended Organizations and Tools:     - Covenant Eyes: Monitoring and filtering software to help manage online activity.     - Exodus Cry: A non-profit organization focusing on ending sexual exploitation.     - National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE): Advocacy and educational resources for combating pornography and exploitation.     - White Ribbon Week Curriculum: A program teaching children digital literacy and discernment.  
5. Strategies for Action:     - Contact local representatives to support age-verification laws and digital safety measures.     - Use filtering software to mitigate exposure but recognize its limitations.     - Educate children early about the realities and harms of pornography.     - Advocate for improved online safety measures in schools and communities.  
6. Healing and Recovery:     - Join group therapy or accountability programs for individuals struggling with pornography addiction.     - Seek professional help and focus on aligning actions with personal values for long-term recovery.     - Emphasize the importance of relational skills and authentic connection over artificial substitutes.  
Next Steps for Listeners: - Share this episode to spread awareness.  - Contact local representatives to support age-verification laws and advocate for digital safety.  - Learn more about the Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025) at (http://humanintimacy.com).  - Explore additional healing and advocacy resources through NCOSE and Exodus Cry.  
This episode challenges listeners to take action, protect children, and reclaim the ability to foster healthy, intimate relationships in a culture deeply affected by the harmful impacts of pornography.  
 
Other resources provided: 
A link to EC's campaign, Protect Children Not Porn that includes:
A short animated video on the importance of AV
Our documentary called Raised on Porn
Our petition that almost has 100,000 signatures 
Statistics on the harms of pornography on children
A link to EC's state-by-state Age Verification Tracker
A link to EC's stat page that includes stats on harms of pornography on children, the amount of pornography easily accessible to children, and the average ages of children that are viewing pornography. And our two-pager on why Age Verification is essential in protecting children. 

Wednesday Jan 01, 2025

New Year, New Habits:
The Science of Change and Lasting Transformation
 In this inspiring New Year’s Day episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the challenges and opportunities of creating lasting change. They explore why most New Year’s resolutions fail and share practical strategies for success, including understanding intrinsic motivation, habit stacking, and the power of accountability.
Drawing from personal experiences and psychological research, the hosts highlight the importance of preparation, intentionality, and community in achieving meaningful transformation. As they reflect on their own journeys and invite listeners to join the Change 2.0 program, they emphasize that change is always possible with the right tools and mindset.

Wednesday Dec 25, 2024

Becoming a Peacemaker:
Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World
  In this special Christmas episode of ”The Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner and his colleague, MaryAnn Michaelis, explore what it means to be a true peacemaker. While the holidays are often a time of joy, they can also bring stress, conflict, and hurt. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn challenge common misconceptions about peacemaking—showing that it’s not about "rolling over" or avoiding conflict, but rather creating internal alignment, setting boundaries, and confronting unhealthy behaviors with love and integrity.
Listeners will gain insight into:  
- How to find peace within themselves first  - The connection between inner calm and external kindness (polyvagal theory)  - Why true peacemaking involves both gentleness and courage  - Practical ways to be a peacemaker in daily life, from small acts of kindness to addressing difficult situations  
The episode reminds us that being a peacemaker begins with who we are inside—a state of congruence with our values, gratitude, and a willingness to lift others up.
Key Resources Discussed:  
1. Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges):     - Understanding states of calm (ventral vagal), fight-or-flight (sympathetic), and shutdown (dorsal vagal) to regulate emotions and foster peace.  
2. 12-Step Programs:     - Tools for introspection and self-awareness to identify areas for growth.  
3. Dr. Martin Seligman’s Work on Gratitude and Happiness:     - Books: ”Authentic Happiness” and “Flourish”     - Highlighting the link between gratitude and higher levels of happiness.
4. Boundaries:    - Defining enabling behaviors and setting clear, healthy boundaries to promote peace in relationships.  
5. Mr. Rogers’ Example of Peacemaking:     - Addressing difficult topics with kindness, compassion, and clarity.  
6. Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation:     - Simple, everyday practices to lift others up, from small compliments to acts ofBecoming a Peacemaker: Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World
Action Steps for Listeners:
- Reflection Exercise:   Write down a moment when someone was a peacemaker for you. Reach out to thank them.  
- Be Intentional:     Identify opportunities this week to:     1. Address unhealthy behaviors lovingly.     2. Lift someone up with kind words or actions.     3. Slow down, reflect on gratitude, and identify areas where you need internal peace.  

Wednesday Dec 18, 2024

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married:
Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams
In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his long-time friend and fellow therapist, Brett Williams, author of You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married. With over 35 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist, Brett dives into the complexities of couple communication and conflict resolution.
He introduces the “Four C’s” of communication—Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, and Combating—and explains how couples can move away from destructive patterns of blame and escalation.  
Brett emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for confession—vulnerably sharing emotions without defensiveness—and highlights that love is the free gift of attention. Together, Dr. Skinner and Brett offer actionable strategies for effective communication, understanding your partner’s needs, and building love-based solutions for deeper intimacy and connection.  
The episode concludes with an exciting announcement about the first annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14th and 15th, 2025), where Brett will explore whether loving again after betrayal is possible and provide tools for trust and communication
You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams
Resources Mentioned:  
1. Brett Williams’ Book:  
   - You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Love-Based Solutions for Couples.  
2. Concepts and Techniques:  
   - The Four C’s of Communication (Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, Combating).  
   - The Attention Reception Test (visual, auditory, kinesthetic preferences).  
   - Love-Based Solutions for rebuilding connection and trust.  
   - Physiological regulation during conflict (monitor heart rate and nervous system).  
3. Related Research and Experts:  
   - Dr. John Gottman: Impact of escalated heart rates on communication.  
   - Dr. Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Theory and regulating the nervous system.  
   - Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages.  
4. Event Mentioned:  
   - First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025).  
     - Featuring Brett Williams and 15 other clinicians specializing in overcoming betrayal trauma, addictive behaviors, and rebuilding relationships. More information to come!

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The Human Intimacy Podcast

With Dr. Kevin Skinner

Join Dr. Kevin Skinner and his guests as they explore human intimacy through deep and personal conversations. In each episode you will find insightful discussions about relationships and the challenges we have in creating meaningful connections.

Dr. Skinner believes the solutions to societal and relationship problems will come through seeing people for who they are. In each podcast, you will meet thought leaders, fun and interesting personalities, musicians, and ordinary people who are making the world better.

For more information you can follow Dr. Skinner at www.humanintimacy.com

 

 

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