Becoming a Peacemaker: Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World (Podcast #46)

Becoming a Peacemaker:

Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World

  
In this special Christmas episode of ”The Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner and his colleague, MaryAnn Michaelis, explore what it means to be a true peacemaker. While the holidays are often a time of joy, they can also bring stress, conflict, and hurt. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn challenge common misconceptions about peacemaking—showing that it’s not about "rolling over" or avoiding conflict, but rather creating internal alignment, setting boundaries, and confronting unhealthy behaviors with love and integrity.

Listeners will gain insight into:  

- How to find peace within themselves first  
- The connection between inner calm and external kindness (polyvagal theory)  
- Why true peacemaking involves both gentleness and courage  
- Practical ways to be a peacemaker in daily life, from small acts of kindness to addressing difficult situations  

The episode reminds us that being a peacemaker begins with who we are inside—a state of congruence with our values, gratitude, and a willingness to lift others up.

Key Resources Discussed:  

1. Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges):  
   - Understanding states of calm (ventral vagal), fight-or-flight (sympathetic), and shutdown (dorsal vagal) to regulate emotions and foster peace.  

2. 12-Step Programs:  
   - Tools for introspection and self-awareness to identify areas for growth.  

3. Dr. Martin Seligman’s Work on Gratitude and Happiness:  
   - Books: ”Authentic Happiness” and “Flourish”  
   - Highlighting the link between gratitude and higher levels of happiness.

4. Boundaries: 
   - Defining enabling behaviors and setting clear, healthy boundaries to promote peace in relationships.  

5. Mr. Rogers’ Example of Peacemaking:  
   - Addressing difficult topics with kindness, compassion, and clarity.  

6. Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation:  
   - Simple, everyday practices to lift others up, from small compliments to acts ofBecoming a Peacemaker: Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World

Action Steps for Listeners:

- Reflection Exercise:
   Write down a moment when someone was a peacemaker for you. Reach out to thank them.  

- Be Intentional:  
   Identify opportunities this week to:  
   1. Address unhealthy behaviors lovingly.  
   2. Lift someone up with kind words or actions.  
   3. Slow down, reflect on gratitude, and identify areas where you need internal peace.