Unlearning: Breaking Patterns That Prevent Us from Connection and Intimacy (Episode #38)

Unlearning: Breaking Patterns

That Prevent Us from Connection and Intimacy

Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss breaking subconscious patterns that prevent true connection. MaryAnn’s story about reconnecting with her neighbors serves as a reminder of the power of intentional actions to foster intimacy and reduce isolation. Through examples and references, they offer tools to identify, unlearn, and reshape habits that hinder connection, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, purpose, and supportive accountability.

Outline and Resources:

1. Understanding Patterns and the Need for Change
   - Resource: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza — Dr. Dispenza’s work on how to consciously rewire automatic behaviors through intentional change.

2. Steps for Effective Change: Identify, Act, Evaluate  
   - Resource: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg — The concept of keystone habits that catalyze broader changes in life.

3. Tools for Change and Resilience Building  
   - Habit Stacking: Introducing small, progressive changes that build into lasting habits.
   - Window of Tolerance by Dr. Dan Siegel — Expanding resilience by gradually increasing what one can comfortably handle.
   - Resource: Dr. Carol Dweck’s Mindset — Encourages adopting a growth mindset to embrace change and overcome limiting beliefs.

4. Conflict Patterns in Relationships  
   - Resource: Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson — On recognizing and disrupting the “dance” of recurring conflict patterns in relationships.

5. Creating a Supportive Community and Accountability  
   - Flubbing (phone snubbing) — Discussed as an example of behaviors that limit presence and connection.
   - Invitation to Identify One Desired Change — An exercise for listeners to set an actionable goal.

6. Introducing the "Change 2.0" Course
   - Dr. Skinner’s upcoming course offering structured support for individuals, couples, and families to create lasting change.