Parenting Through Betrayal: Helping Children When You’re in Chaos (Episode #57)

Parenting Through Betrayal:

Helping Children When You’re in Chaos  

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss one of the most challenging aspects of betrayal—parenting while navigating your own trauma. When betrayal shakes a relationship, children often experience the ripple effects, sometimes without fully understanding what’s happening. The conversation explores the deep shame that both betrayed and betraying parents often feel, the impact of unspoken emotional tension on children, and the long-term effects of parental betrayal on a child’s development.  

Dr. Skinner shares personal experiences and insights on how betrayal influences family systems, emphasizing the importance of open, age-appropriate communication with children. MaryAnn highlights key strategies for disclosing difficult truths while prioritizing a child’s emotional well-being. The episode also offers guidance on avoiding parentification, navigating parental shame, and maintaining connection despite emotional overwhelm.  

The conversation underscores the importance of not only individual healing but also addressing the broader family system to foster resilience and long-term healing.  

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Recommended Resources  

Books & Articles:
1. Mending a Shattered Heart – Edited by Stefanie Carnes, PhD  
   A guide for partners navigating betrayal trauma, with a chapter on how and what to disclose to children. 

2. The Power of Attachment – Diane Poole Heller, PhD  
   Explores attachment trauma and how showing up even 30% of the time can foster secure connections. 

3. The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, MD  
   Insights on how trauma is stored in the body and its impact on emotional regulation.  

4. Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal – Dr. Kevin Skinner  
   A deep dive into betrayal trauma and strategies for healing.  

Practical Tools for Parents:  

EMDR Therapy –  
   Consider finding an EMDR therapist to help process trauma and unspoken memories that may impact parenting.*  

Family Dialogue Guidelines:
   - Keep disclosures age-appropriate.  
   - Avoid using children as emotional supports.  
   - Validate their feelings and reassure them that they are loved.  
   - Offer ongoing opportunities for discussion, rather than one-time conversations.  

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Special Offer  

Human Intimacy Conference – March 14-15, 2025  
Listeners can register with the coupon code Podcast50 for 50% off and receive a free Human Intimacy course of their choice. 

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This episode is a must-listen for parents navigating betrayal trauma, offering compassionate guidance on maintaining connection with children while processing personal pain.